From the Blog
How I Keep Myself Honest
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My mother told me an anecdote about my father a while back. I keep this one very close to my heart because it sums up the integrity by which he lived by and which many of his friends, colleagues, and acquaintances attested to. Even though it was just one of many of my mother’s ‘Your dad ah…’ stories, it is one of my favourites because it is the one I call on whenever I am confronted with difficult situations that test my ethics and integrity.
It happened in the 1990s, when my father was a founding member of the Securities Commission and a member of the listing committee. Companies that wanted to sell their shares on the stock market had to get its approval.
A friend of his had applied for his company to be listed. He called my father to persuade him of its merits. My father told him, If your application has merits, I’ll support it. If it has none, I will argue against it. Please don’t call me anymore. Despite that, he persisted in contacting my father, who avoided him and declined his calls.
It turned out that his application had merits and was approved. He made a lot of money.
Several months later, he visited my father at our home unannounced. He brought a briefcase with him. My parents met him in the living room. After a short chat, he made his excuse to leave and got up but left his briefcase. My father alerted him about it, to which he smiled and said it was a present for him.
My father asked him to open the briefcase.
‘Fahri, it was full of cash. He told dad it was a million in cash. He wanted to give his thanks. I had never seen so much cash before my eyes in my life. I was scared. But my god, that money; it would’ve solved a lot of our problems. Your dad ah, he was very upset. How can you do this to me? Do you understand how wrong this is? Dad told him to close the briefcase and get out. And just like that, I never saw so much money go away at once.’
This memory about my father keeps me honest with others and myself. Doing anything less would violate his memory, reputation, values and my love for him. His ethical strength is to me more amazing because several years prior he was drained from bailing out his family and friends out of their debts that he had unwittingly guaranteed.
That led to two pieces of advise that I have never forgotten (along with the many others): First, never guarantee anything for anyone except family, and even then, choose wisely. Second, never go into business with your friends because you may end up wth neither.
This story about him also serves as a reminder that it is better for me to suffer for my principles than to lower my ethical standards, because though my peace of mind cannot be bought, it can be sold, and there will be no peace for us when we violate our personal standards.
The deepest betrayal to ourselves is not when others betray us, but when we betray ourselves.
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One Response
“Second, never go into business with your friends because you may end up wth neither.”
But if your business partners become your friends in the end ?
Because you cannot possibly work long term with someone unless you have some kind of connection or understanding with them that goes beyond mere work accquaintances. That’s especially true in partnerships where you need to have some level of trust in your other partners.